I’ve been hearing “What are friends for?” for many times now. Haha, don’t know why? Btw, that’s beside the point why I am here to blog today. I am here today to spill out whatever I have in my mind for some time.

READ THIS – THIS POST IS NOT POSTED TO OFFEND ANYONE.

Few months back I guess, I was saying that I am confused and I do not know what I was up against. Now I manage to figure that out. However, there has always been a disadvantage in every step to success. May be I should say that as obstacles rather than disadvantage. Well I managed to figure it out that in my life, I have been always doing things for others which has been befitting them in one way or another but has not done anything much for me. Let me start off with the problems in my family. Now, my family is going through so much that I’ve been fighting over for my own rights. I mean, I just feel that I’m always not treated well or even treated like as if I am some kind of servant. I am not saying that my roles as a son or a brother are being a burden but I have been overdoing these roles. Every small thing that has been happening in my family is making me feel that I am made use of. Well I may sound selfish and all but I’m kind of sick and tired of doing it for them. “Veeknesh, go down and buy this.” “Veeknesh, go to that shop and buy this” “Veeknesh, go and buy food for all of us”

I just don’t get it, why aren’t my family members are being so “independent”? Simple things that can be done easily but they expect me to do. I mean, I have to do things even when I am tired or worse sick but my sister gets all the priority. Why? She earns. What I have realised in my family is that they are all money minded. Money speaks in my house. No money = No rights, hence no talk. In my personal life, I have not been doing what I want to really do.

Coming to my school life, I am just sick and tired of being a “low class” idiot who have been always losing to friends in studies and given them so much of opportunity of telling me that “I’ve not been studying” or “Wow that is something new that you studied” and all. Although this has been true, but why would friends say such a thing? Are they really my friends? I am just sick of getting lower scores than all my friends for most subjects. This is so sickening.

Last night, I could not sleep well cause my inner self has been asking me so many questions about what I’ve been doing all mu life and these questions are something that have not been answered and I’ve been running away from answering them for a long time. I fell so scared that I might have to face this big threat one day or another.

But all I’ve decided so far is that I don’t need friends for now, as in I don’t want to talk in class. I was afraid of telling this to you guys today but guys I hope that you would understand why I feel this way. Is it wrong to be selfish for once? And what I think is that it’s defiantly not wrong for me to be selfish for what I want and especially right now.

Oh, by the way, please do not, let me repeat, do not give me advise on anything cause I got no time to consider about the advises that you give me. Sorry if I had said something wrong in this post.

Till Next Time,

Veeknesh